why you can't date the french

Tatyana Markovtsev 003So do you date?

It may be an obvious question, but you’d be surprised to find that the French don’t even have a word for it!

How are they to find the love of their life?

The answer may surprise you!

Check out the article below to find out, and watch the video for some French worth finding!

(This week: the verb TROUVER – to find)




This is a blog post shared from Daniel’s ZenPolitics.

Did you find the ‘click’?

There was a time when people actually fell in love. There was a time when chemistry was a thing. Sparks and magical moments weren’t mythical. Finding the love of your life was actually a possibility. Etc. etc.

For most of North America, it’s been a thing of the past for a very long time, if it ever was a thing at all. We don’t do it, we don’t believe in it, it’s a subject of ridicule, really. It’s the stuff that pipe dreams are made of, the fodder for the young and stupid, the naïve.

No, we don’t do that sort of foolishness. We just date.

What is that?

It’s when you’ve made a habit out of dehumanizing your fellow human being, specifically the opposite sex. They’re a little less than human. They’re a resource for sex, security and perhaps financial interdependence.It’s when you’ve built an entire culture complete with its own vocabulary behind this inhuman exercise. It’s what happens when socializing is grotesquely gender exclusive. From guys’ night out to girls-only slumber parties, the sexes have become worlds apart. Going out with friends is so rare that dating, a word whose meaning is so relentlessly implied but never understood, has become the near-exclusive way to even meet anyone from the other side.

And it’s anything but casual. Dating is a job interview on steroids and, predominantly, in restaurants. Any attempt at removing expectations or interview-style back-and-fourth is effectively eliminated. God forbid there be any relaxation or fun or anything recognizably human about the whole experience. No, you’re supposed to put on your best outfit and your best face and try to impress the other person into falling in love with you, or at the very least, giving you a kiss goodnight and a follow-up phone call over the next 3 days. Oh, and it’s not an “exclusive” relationship until it’s somehow explicitly determined.

That’s right, there is this step from “a date” to the process of “dating”. This is the only casual element to the cacophony of dating. It’s sort of like a “test” relationship, and you can have more than one at the same time, which surely favors the misogynistic elements of society. Gone are the days where a kiss is more than just a kiss. Nowadays, such acts have lost all intimacy.

The rest of the world seems to know better.

The French don’t do any of this, for example. To them, human beings are equal. They can go out together in groups and have a great time. They can have sparks and find love without having to date and kiss random strangers until they figure out who is actually worth their time and heart. They don’t even have a word for dating, because they don’t need one. They’re not afraid of each other’s opposite sex to the point where they need to have exclusive nights out just to be social. They build their relationships based on the reality of each other’s humanity, not based on how perfect they can pretend to be or how perfectly they can answer their way out of check-mate interview questions.

That’s probably because they take human relationships a little more seriously there. Intimacy still has value, kisses still mean something. Actions still speak louder than words, so the exclusivity of a relationship is implied and self-evident.

…Oh, and nobody has to be asking themselves “Where is this relationship going”.

Daniel @ ZenPolitics


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Comment below and let us know did you come across any of these cultural differences, and how would/did they impact you? 🙂


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Photo credit: Tatyana Markovtsev, A.G. photographe

Why you can’t date the French

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